My first cell phone was a pink Motorola Razr, glossy and impossibly cool for its time. It was a gift from my husband, who said, “That way we can reach each other when we’re not together.”
I’ll be honest. I did not want one. My first thought? What if I don’t want to be reached?
It took about a week before that sleek flip phone was buzzing day and night, and that was before I got into real estate. Now my life is in my phone, and my phone is within arm’s reach all day. It feels bad to even write that.
It’s pretty bad when my 23-year-old son asks me to put my phone away when we meet for lunch, and my husband asks me to leave it at home when we take our nightly walk. That was the moment I realized this wasn’t a tool anymore. It was a leash.
Why Agents Are Especially Vulnerable
Real estate rewards responsiveness. We pride ourselves on being reachable, informed, and on top of it. But that constant connectivity comes at a cost.
According to the National Association of REALTORS®, nearly a third of agents say they feel pressure to be available 24/7, even when it undermines focus and productivity. A 2022 Baylor University study found that high evening screen time directly reduces sleep quality and next-day job performance, and agents depend on both clear thinking and emotional stamina to do their jobs well.
In short, we’re wired for business.
What the Digital Leash Costs Us
The leash doesn’t tug; it buzzes. Every ping delivers a quick hit of dopamine, the same chemical response as pulling a slot machine lever.
• Attention splinters. It takes more than 20 minutes to fully refocus after a single interruption.
• Sleep suffers. Blue light and “just one more check” sabotage rest.
• Relationships strain. Being constantly reachable for clients often means being half-present for the people who matter most.
We call it dedication, but it’s really depletion disguised as productivity.
How to Loosen the Leash
You don’t need to ditch your phone; you just need to train it.
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Set digital office hours. Let clients know when you’ll respond. Boundaries build respect, not resentment.
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Turn off preview notifications. Every buzz doesn’t need your eyes.
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Batch your replies. Check messages in blocks—morning, midday, evening—instead of constantly reacting.
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Audit your apps. If it doesn’t serve your business or your peace, delete it.
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Track your data. Your weekly screen-time report is a reality check.
A Challenge for This Week
Pick one hour, just one, where you leave your phone behind. Take a walk. Sit at dinner. Be fully present with someone you love.
If it feels impossible, that’s exactly why it matters.
We all got into this business to connect with people, with places, with stories. Somewhere along the way, the phone became the middleman. It’s time to take back the leash and let it serve us again.
Karen Moeller
🌐 STLKaren.com
📧 Karen.McNeill@STLRE.com
📞 314.678.7866
About the Author:
Karen Moeller, REALTOR® and St. Louis Real Estate News writer, holds AHWD, SRES®, and ABR® designations. Her renovation & rental background helps clients navigate the St. Louis market with confidence.
